The first question locates you. The second question identifies your reactions. The third question gets you asking why you react as you do. The fourth question is open-ended about what happens next. It walks a trajectory into the future regarding consequences, and further destructive or constructive things that you might do.
Q1. What’s your situation? When? Where? Who are you with? What just happened? What’s happening? Any significant background factors coming into play (e.g., overtired, previous frustrations, work pressure, tense relationship, ‘history’,…)?
Q2. How does discontentment, grumbling, critical spirit, and so forth show up? What scenarios are playing inside your head? What are you saying to yourself? How could others tell you are displeased? What do you say outloud? What are you doing? Tone of voice? Body language? Vehement words? Emotional state? Any other actions, feelings, thoughts that tend to be associated with grumbling?
Q3. What exactly do you want? Is there something you’re afraid of? What are your expectations walking into that situation? What are you actually believing during the moment of grumbling?
The answer to this question does not lie on the surface. So stop, stand back, think. The human heart is slippery, deceitful, defensive. We easily come up with plausible reasons and rationalizations for our reactions. Ask God to give you clarity to simply notice and name what beliefs and motives take over the controls.
Q4. Then what happened? What do you do next? Where did you go with this? Where might you go?